Of Laptops and Smartphones
by HuntressSoul
Summary: Severus Snape knew that he was going to murder the headmaster of Hogwarts. Never mind the fact that man saved his arse one too many times, he had better things to do than explore the headache-inducing, retina-searing, fluorescently lit muggle store that possessed an uncanny resemblance to the headmaster's choice in robes. The houses competitions drabble round 2


House : Slytherin

Year : Prefect

Category : Drabble

Prompt : Learning to surf the internet as a witch/wizard

Word Count : 709

* * *

Severus Snape knew that he was going to murder the headmaster of Hogwarts. Never mind the fact that man saved his arse one too many times, he had better things to do than explore the headache-inducing, retina-searing, fluorescently lit muggle store that possessed an uncanny resemblance to the headmaster's choice in robes.

Hushed voices flew across the store floor as an unusually dressed man prodded laptops in the electronics department while a dour looking man dressed in black stood close to him like a dark sentinel. One brave soul sales clerk found the courage to approach two strange men.

"Good day sirs, how are you today? My name is Winston. Can I assist you, gentlemen?" The fake cheery smile faded as the tall dark-haired shopper glared daggers at him.

"Could you? That would be wonderful my boy!" the old eccentrically dressed man said jovially as his blues eyes twinkled. "Don't mind Severus, he's a bit moody this morning. I'm Albus, I'm well, thank you for asking my boy, now, could you explain what these are?" the old man finished finally breathing as he gestured toward the array of laptops on display.

Confidence back in place the clerk began the very a long drawn out explanation on laptops, their efficiency and the different models available for purchase.

"What is the cheapest one available, that he can play with." Severus sneered cutting the clerk off.

"I-uh, they're really outdated, sir, they don't accommodate wireless internet connection." The clerk stuttered.

"What's the difference?" Severus snapped.

"Um, it's not a wireless connection?" the clerk answered questioningly sounding positively dumb.

"What is that?" Albus asked curiously.

"What?"

"The wireless thing." Albus clarified for the clerk.

"Oh, well simply put its easier and faster internet access." The clerk piped cheerily.

When the two men just silently stared at him, the horrifying reality of the 'type' of people they were finally dawned on him. He really had terrible luck with customers. Holding back a sigh he pushed through the cloud of depression that was slowly fogging his tech-loving mind.

"If you're in not in a hurry, perhaps I could give you two gentlemen a crash course on the wonders of the internet." Winston offered. Of course, he wanted to make a sale, but the idea of these people being ignorant to the most beautiful thing to have ever been created left a sour taste in his mouth.

"If it wouldn't be much trouble, we're not in a rush. Enlighten us on this wonder of yours," Albus said, the weird and slightly unnerving twinkle back in his eyes.

And so, the arduous task of educating two wizards on the wonders of the internet began. Winston didn't know it, but he managed to pull off the feat of the millennium. He had successfully taught the two most wizard-y wizards how to work a laptop efficiently and surf the internet. If he were a wizard, he'd have been given the order of Merlin first class, for having the patience to not only endure Albus Dumbledore's whimsiness but also for standing the snarky remarks from Severus Snape.

He was a hero.

_Back at Hogwarts_

"How do we open the inter-web again Severus," Albus asked as he randomly poked at the keyboard.

"It's called the internet, Headmaster," Severus answered pulling the laptop away from the old man's grasp and deftly working the muggle technology.

The minutes ticked by and the clicking of keys could still be heard.

"Severus?"

"Hmm…"

"May I enquire what you're so furiously doing?"

"Certainly, I'm commenting on a ludicrous article."

"About?"

"I'm educating idiotic muggles on exactly what witches and wizards are," Severus answered turning the laptop in his direction.

"Oh my…"

"Exactly, those idiots think burying a twig at midnight and uttering nonsense is going to give them a wand. Bloody Dunderheads…"

Half an hour passed by with Severus still furiously typing away.

"Severus, my boy."

"Hmm…"

"How did you come across that article."

Silence was his only answer.

"Alright then. Can I have the laptop back?"

"…no."

With that drawn-out word, Severus Snape exited the headmaster's office.

"Maybe I should get him a smartphone for Christmas, it would be so much easier to carry around." Dumbledore mused the twinkle in his eyes brighter than ever.


End file.
